


hot 'catch'

by orphan_account



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, For a Friend, I Ship It, Shipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 10:38:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12746655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: An encounter with Muffet goes just as much as you'd expect when you're dealing with someone who's fantastic at bribes.alternate summary: Undyne is bad at talking to pretty women and Sans bets on his friends' relationships, apparently.





	hot 'catch'

Undyne _really_ shouldn’t be this far into Hotland.

She can already feel it; her face beating from the heat, reddened from the temperature, her skin dry and flakey. Though she’s not wearing her armor, her casual attire is drenched in sweat, the fish monster struggling with each step.

It’s hot. Too hot.

 _God_ , she hates Hotland.

But it’s worth it…

…just to see that sneaky smile greeting her as she walks up, Muffet perking up at her stand the moment she sees her. “Miss Undyne! What a pleasant surprise!” She chirps, clapping her hands together. “What brings the head of the Royal Guard to my humble bake sale?”

Undyne pulls off one of her comical grins, puffing up. Her face reddens, though she’s not sure if it’s because of the heat or the person standing in front of her. “Oh, just making my rounds,” she says, leaning against the table. She fights the urge to grimace at the food, not being one for spiders. Tea is more her taste—but hey, whatever makes Muffet happy. “Some of my sentries—” she means Sans, and Muffet knows it, giving her a nod, “—have been avoiding their duties, so I’m chasing them down to get them to do their work.”

“Sounds absolutely boring!” Muffet laughs.

And _damn_ , that laugh. Undyne hides her racing heart underneath a tightly-held fist, trying to look heroic in her measly tee-shirt and pants. “Y-Yeah, just a little…you haven’t happened to see any of them, have you?”

Again, Muffet knows who she’s talking about. Her eyes narrow, the corners of her mouth perking up, and she hums, leaning forward on her elbows, “I might have.”

Undyne struggles to swallow. She knows a bribe is coming—she knows it. She and the spider have been friends for years, so it’d be hard for her to miss that playful twinkle in Muffet’s eye, that sly glimpse of “I know something you don’t” that both grates on her nerves and makes her weak in the knees. She hates to admit it, but Muffet knows her weaknesses—and one of those is a challenge.

She doesn’t take the bait. Not yet.

“Where?” She makes a point to cross her arms, flexing her hands to shake off sweat. Stupid heat—how does _anyone_ deal with it?

Muffet chortles. Standing straight, she shrugs, gesturing around them. “Somewhere,” she murmurs, an answer teased in that very word but not provided. She giggles when Undyne’s eye twitches. “I might tell you—but it’ll be for a price.”

There it is. Undyne narrows her eyes, gaze intense, “What _kind_ of price?”

That smile did nothing but rise, “Afraid I’ll ask for your head?”

Undyne frowns, thinking it over. _Would_ Muffet ask for her head?

…Do spiders even eat fish?

Undyne groans, throwing her hands up in the air in her frustration. “No, though I _am_ worried about my Guard not doin’ their damn jobs!” She pauses, a sudden thought coming to her. She smiles—and it’s almost as confident as Muffet’s. Almost. “Which, if you’re not going to tell me where h— _they_ are, then I’ll just take my leave now.”

Muffet stills. Her smile drops, a look of surprise at the retort flashing across her face. But only for a moment.

“…I’ll tell you—”

“ _Good_!”

“—On one condition.”

Undyne hesitates. Muffet and her “conditions” have only been rumored of—used as a last resort when the spider monster is desperate. Even with all of their banter and teasings, she’s never used it on anyone when Undyne was around, let alone Undyne herself.

“…Hit me,” she puffs up, frowning. She hopes it’s nothing _too_ embarrassing…

Muffet looks her up and down. Studies her style of dress, her posture.

Then, with a shaky breath, she says, “A date. Seven o’clock—your place.”

Undyne flushes bright red, “A-A _date_? Since when were _you_ into dating?”

The other laughs. Her eyes reflect mischief. “I’m not into dating. But I’m _very_ into _you_.”

Undyne struggles to speak. Her face erupts into a full-blown blush, the fish monster hiding her face behind her hand as the other busts out with laughter.

Twenty minutes later, Undyne shoves Sans down at his station, still beat red in the face. “ _Stay_ ,” she growls, a hard grip on the skeleton’s shoulder. “You’ve got a double shift today—I expect nothing but excellency from you, understand?”

Sans, though wincing under the pain, gives her a quizzical look. “The hell’s gotten into you today?” he asks. When she startles, he points at her face, “didn’t know you could blush. Got a hot ‘catch’ or somethin’?”

Undyne seethes. “ _Just sit here alright!_ ”

She storms off, leaving him sitting at his station, deadpanning.

Sans squints, leaning back in his chair. “… _Fuck_.”

He laughs.

“I owe Grillbs ten bucks.”


End file.
